Needless to say, I am now following Marci, aka @Mamamusement. Exfoliating gloves as grout cleaners? Brilliant. But, there’s much more here to love, including what radiates from between the lines.
True story: I am lazy.
Luckily I have managed to raise one of those “constantly-needing-to-be-moving-and-doing” sort of kids and when you use my ability to think quickly to harness his energy, it’s pretty amazing what we can accomplish. Here are just a few examples of how my 5-year-old son and I have managed to convince people I know what I’m doing.
1. I let my kid have my exfoliating gloves. Oh, I know what you’re thinking. I’m a mom, I deserve nice things and my mother-in-law meant for me to pamper myself. But let me tell you something: my kid + bath paints + exfoliating gloves = clean tub grout. That’s a win for everyone.
2. l let him watch as much TV as he wants. If I am getting my ass handed to me by one of my chronic health conditions, I declare a “(insert show or movie)-a-thon” day. I let my kid pick something on Netflix (ideally something like “Mythbusters” or “Mighty Machines” with a lot of episodes) and let him watch as many episodes as he wants while I spend the day curled up around a hot water bottle, nursing my migraine, or managing whatever celse has knocked me down. By about hour 3, he’s ready to retreat to his LEGOs or Hot Wheel tracks and I get peace and quiet.
3. I still use compartment plates at lunch. You know those little divided plates? I’m bad at lunch and even though my kid is 5 and could care less if his food touches, I put down the compartment plate at lunch and enlist his help in deciding what we fill in with. One fruit, one veg, one protein, one dairy, and/or one grain (depending on compartments and supplies) and viola! Yesterday it was chicken tenders with ranch, home-grown cherry tomatoes, nectarine slices, and string cheese.
4. I tell him there’s NO WAY he can do this (really unpleasant) thing. I have a sneaky way of making tasks that I dislike—like weeding—look really difficult and technical and like they are things only ‘grown-ups with tools’ should do. Once I have my kid hooked on this premise, OF COURSE he is demanding his own tool and chance to try. This is why my kid has his own gardening gloves and trowel, his own microfiber duster and dustpan/hand-broom, and why he knows where the lint-trap is on the dryer. Shhh…top-secret grown-up knowledge I’m ‘sharing’ with him here. [See also #1, I guess…see, lazy.]
5. I don’t sugarcoat things and I don’t lie. No, really. That’s something people with time, energy, and elves and shelves do. I use smoke and mirrors but I shoot pretty straight with my kid. He knows that the flu shot hurts but that I only make him get it because if he gets the flu he could die. He knows that unless he’s got ice cream money, he’s only waving to the ice cream truck as it rolls by. If he’s calling for me to tuck him in for the tenth time, I tell him I’ll come tuck him in and kiss him the next time I get up (which I will—even if it takes an hour or two before I need water or to let the dog out). And if it’s time for a bath because he stinks, I don’t sugar coat that either. Unless adding “I love you Stinky Face” is sugar coating it. Evs.
So, there you have it: the secrets to my “success” as a lazy parent. Oh, and coffee, chocolate, and wine as needed. Which is often and liberally.
~Marci aka Mamamusement
All week we’re basking in our laziness. If you are the laid back type and have some good tips when it comes to parenting, cooking, self-care and relationships please share your stories! Submit here or tag them #growinguplazy or #growinguplast.